Yesterday I met up with an old friend and was caught off guard when she casually mentioned the gaslighting behavior of someone from her past. I have frequently thought about how such psychotic behavior has become so common to the point that even kids know the definition of the term and that it’s even become a hallmark of the mainstream media. Unethical ‘journalists’ do it without a shred of compunction, ruining the lives of their perceived enemies and at the same time presenting false stories to their readers and viewers. How did sociopathic behavior become the new normal? And why do individuals do it? What is their real motivation
Perhaps I will get to the truth about narcissism another day, but for now I want to focus on a by-product of that which is gaslighting.
Gaslighting is about the control of relationships. There are those who easily fall into the practice of gaslighting because they view themselves as superior to others and their goals supercede everything that may stand in the way of achieving them. When the truth does not help further their agenda, the gaslighting begins.
Their victims do not rate high enough to merit explanation and are often bombarded with a series of lies that frequently border on the absurd and illogical. The deceptions can become so outrageous that the victim is forced to set aside all reason and even question his sanity.
I believe for many narcissists who practice gaslighting, it is a game they are willing to play because their relationships and the people in their lives are never as important as they perceive themselves to be. Friendships can be walked away from, love interests can end without any sense of loss or sadness. These people operate as if at war, every day ripe for battle and anyone who keeps them from getting what they want can fall prey to their psychosis.
These people may seem just like everyone else until threatened. If something is going to be taken from them, if they are to be exposed as frauds or if they are caught in a lie, switching into psychowarrior mode is no effort on their part.
Gaslighters may seem terribly complicated, but they are often quite simple and predictable once you know where they stand. My simple analysis may only scratch the surface, but my intuitive sources reveal that the main reason they behave as they do is to prevent themselves from getting hurt. Yes…behind the attitude they are afraid and fearful people. So afraid that they will ruin friendships to avoid appearing weak or uninformed. They are incapable of honest communication, and are in a constant battle with themselves to maintain an illusion that must pass from person to person for however long each relationship lasts.
They feel a need to constantly protect themselves and attempt to steer everything in a way that benefits them. They want more than their share, perhaps because of a past pain, envy or a seed planted early in life. The personas they create need constant protection and their fight to maintain that illusion is at the heart of their deceptive lives.
Parents and caregivers should take note and monitor the behavior of their children for signs, even in the form of ‘play’. Media and so-called entertainment exacerbates the behavior by turning it into comedy or by normalizing this form of cruelty. If we were to take it a step further, something like gang stalking could not exist if we didn’t already have a population of desensitized people who were adept at gaslighting on an individual basis and who are now eager to terrorize alongside a group of equally damaged people. For what, to fit in?
I don’t think there is much we can do for a gaslighter who is deeply entrenched in his behavior. We can avoid complimenting him or her and we can stop reacting to their stories, but that just makes them move on–it doesn’t solve their problem or the havoc they all wreak on society as a whole, but perhaps more awareness and acknowledgment of this behavior will strike a chord within them and stir some inspiration for change. When encountering someone of this nature, cut your losses, step away and understand that they are masters of disguise and what they try to hide the most is their own abject fear of discovery.
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