I often think about identity, persona and how we see ourselves. In my book Toxic Rainbows, I talk about how I felt early on that I was different, not the fact that I was a minority, but that my thinking was not quite the same as most and I saw that the brilliance in our differences and how standing out from the crowd was not a bad thing. But accepting our uniqueness is sometimes a hard thing to appreciate in a world where people are bullied and shamed for being true to themselves or even ridiculed for their physical differences.
Like most people, I suffered through bouts of insecurity and anxiety, much of which was rooted to my feelings of not having the ‘right’ experiences or background. I learned that pressures imposed by society can make us forget who we are and literally obliterate the love that we should have for ourselves.
We do ourselves a huge disservice when we allow ourselves to become victims to the cruelties of the deeply insecure people out there who try to make us look bad or to feel bad about ourselves.
Years ago I was asked the oft asked question, “What is your spirit animal?” I responded immediately, ‘The Ostrich”.
The ostrich is awkward and can’t fly, but it runs incredibly fast. It’s legs are powerful and can kick the crap out of the haters. It’s feathers may be useless for flight, but they are beautiful and luxurious. The ostrich stands out on its own as being remarkably unique in the bird family and as an animal in general and like all creatures, it succeeds purely on being itself.
Birds of Envy. If we were to embrace our inner ostrich, dodo bird or platypus, we would be positioning ourselves as strong, untouchable individuals. I don’t mean that you should go out and dye your hair blue, because that doesn’t cut it anymore. I mean..BE YOU. Warts and all, you are meant to shine for what you have going on in your mind and in your heart. There is no one like you and that’s something everyone can be grateful for.
We all want to understand our purpose and for most of us that will require a process of change and self transformation. Positive change will shake the effects of our influences and will bring about a greater understanding of our habits and motivations.
Lasting change is a process that includes a strong desire, dedication, reflection and will.
Your greatest first challenge is in understanding who you are. I am not talking about the labels that are imposed upon you by society. I’m talking about the inner you that only you can know.
Surviving the New Babylon first means finding yourself among the masses, extricating yourself and discovering the individual buried beneath the labels, peer pressure and expectations of others.
Discovering your true inner self means letting go of what you think you know and believe in and to simply start over. That means spending time reflecting and in meditation. Giving time to youself and your thoughts alone.
You will begin to better understand your emotions and why you perceive things the way that you do. Connecting with your inner self, remembering things and making connections to your past will give you insight into why certain triggers can easily upset you or why some things put you in unusually good moods.
Reflection is a stage of work that will allow you to live with greater awareness. You will come to conclusions and make decisions more consciously, instead of allowing your inner conscious, or subconscious to make decisions for you. You will start to trust yourself more and believe in your intuition. Many wonderful things will start to happen, but you have to start laying the groundwork and that requires time and commitment.
I hope you will find some inspiration in this short post. There is a lot more to be said on the subject and I will continue posting on the process of self transformation regularly. This will also be covered in greater depth in my book, Post-Sanity: Surviving the New Babylon which will initially be released as an e-book. I am aiming for a Nov-Dec release, so stay tuned, follow along and believe in your transformation and when you do, you’ll start noticing big changes. I guarantee it.
I’ve been writing a lot about change as it’s associated with our personal growth and there is much to be said on this subject, but for now I just wanted to drop a quick thought that occurred to me about it.
We’ve all heard about being fearless and taking risks that test our boundaries of comfort. We do things to gain strength and overcome the fear itself. But it occurred to me that the greatest fear that most people have is not something like asking someone out on a date, standing up for ourselves or merging into fast moving traffic. Our greatest fears lie in honestly confronting ourselves.
Confronting ourselves requires a dedication in wanting to make changes that we know deeply effect our thinking, reasoning and emotions. It means understanding ourselves better, it means addressing feelings and issues that may be uncomfortable and unpleasant.
We fear the secrets we keep buried deep down and if we’re honest, we know that by understanding our deeper selves some of our current beliefs and feelings will change. We instinctively know that a paradigm shift can be painful and disruptive, but in order to elevate ourselves and grow in a way that improves our lives and relationships, we must do that work.
So when we think about confronting our fears, let’s start with the big one and ask ourselves those hard questions. What is important? What is my purpose? Why do I feel the way I do? Why do I react the way I do? What really matters to me? Am I happy? Am I being honest with myself?
And always remember, you are never alone.